The Churn

Never Forget These Ratchet Moments From Georgia’s Senate Runoff Election

Mike JordanJanuary 5, 2021

Election Day Georgia Votes flag

It’s been a trippy ride, but we’ve arrived here on Runoff Election Day together, fellow Georgians.

And we may not know by end of day exactly where we’re gonna end up, but we know that the polls — or at least the lines at the polls — finally close at 7pm, Eastern Time. Whether you’ve already voted or have a plan to cast your ballot today, around the world there’ll be lots of eyes on Atlanta tonight.  

So what can you expect? Well, in the best case scenario, we might finally get some closure, and somebody’d better damn sure buy us a drink — especially when you consider how wild this whole thing has been since November.

Let’s reminisce over some of the craziest shit that’s happened during the U.S. Senate runoff campaign in Georgia.

The governor was uninvited to attend a political rally for a candidate representing his own political party, in his own damn state. 

The president was caught on tape telling Georgia’s secretary of state, among other things, to “find” the exact number of votes it would take to overcome Joe Biden’s victory in November. 

A sitting, elected senator was called a “crook” during a live debate and was kinda stumped at how to respond.

A sitting, elected senator refused to show up at a televised debate against his challenger, and was represented by an empty podium. 

One of Georgia’s sitting, elected senators, who is among the wealthiest members of Congress, made questionably timed (and profitable) stock trades, potentially after receiving privileged information in closed-door Senate meetings at the start of the pandemic. 

The other sitting, elected Georgia senator, who is also among the wealthiest members of Congress, also made questionably timed (and profitable) stock trades, potentially after receiving privileged information in closed-door Senate meetings at the start of the pandemic.

One of these sitting senators owns a minority stake in one of Atlanta’s professional sports teams, yet the members of the team are outspoken supporters of her opponent. 

This sitting senator performed so robotically in a debate that major news organizations had to debunk a conspiracy theory that an earpiece was hidden behind her hair while appearing live on stage with her challenger.

This sitting senator also posed for a selfie with a Nazi. 

We learned after receiving hundreds of text messages (with very similar verbiage although supposedly sent from a number of “volunteers”) that giving out your phone number for some businesses loyalty program is some Old Atlanta shit we’re happy to give up.

Volunteers who handed out pizza, water, hand warmers and other supplies during 2020 voting were notified by Georgia’s secretary of state that their actions were considered felonies. 

ATL, if nobody else says it, regardless of what happens after tonight, THANK YOU. One way or the other (hopefully it’s the other), our votes will decide control of Congress.

And with the 2020 election season finally coming to an end, it’s more than fair to say we collectively paid the cost to be the boss. Let’s keep running shit in 2021. 

After a drink and a nap.